Friday, February 12, 2021

Time To Say Goodbye

This is one of those bittersweet moments.

I am saying goodbye to posting on here.

But don't worry (: I'll be on Instagram!


Wednesday, November 11, 2020

Healing After Birth

What was I so upset at yesterday? 

Why am I sad today?

What's resting inside of me?

My mind more than anything wants a vacation

A place to getaway

I was sleeping for the last nine months

why has there been an uncomfortable feeling lurking in the core of my body?


For three days we have tried to figure out what we were doing. I am neither excited nor disappointed with the outcome. It simply is what it is. I'll soon be alone with my baby once again while He goes on what I am considering a mini vacation.

There's a desire to heal in privacy. Birth itself was a shared journey. Not once did I feel alone or in private during it- I am thankful for that. Healing has been another shared journey. It is shared because there are others who are witnessing and watching every step of my healing process.


I’d like to have a fragment of time where I am unnoticed and in private- to heal. I want to heal in the darkness of solitude and come out healed when it's light outside. I want others to wonder. I want them to believe in magic being that they didn't see the process but have heard of it.


Alone and healing.


To heal one must find peace within themself.


I need to search a little deeper within myself. I need to heal by being. I need myself and the magic there is within me that comes out in times of need. I know what I need when I let myself be still.


Thought: So maybe I convinced myself Texas didn't sound like an awful idea because I shifted my perspective to see it as what I needed. A place to be alone and heal. I also feel like I have been finding every possible place to hide and moments to escape. 


One's self is muted when around so many others. How others think I need to heal can distract me from my own coping methods. I need myself right now. I know what I need in order to heal but I can't hear myself when it's loud.


I just need a quiet place where I can listen. 

Sunday, October 25, 2020

dream journal:














{ eyes: magnetic to mine

hand: reaching towards mine

lilac-colored silk sheets }

Wednesday, September 9, 2020

growth in my life

It's late enough I've considered giving myself bangs. The bangs I had in December have taken their time growing out. They just barely can be tucked behind my ear now. 

Growing takes time. I wear a blue single strand of thread on my left wrist. I tied it to myself while I was thinking about growth. Sometimes when I am making a hard decision or I fail to understand why I am going through something I find myself staring at the bracelet. 

So often, I am caught up in the process that I forget that the silver lining will show itself. Yesterday, for example, I had the kind of day that moves slowly, feels heavy and is repetitive in thought. I was consumed by every negative feeling I had and couldn't break the pattern. I thought it wasn't going to get better and that the next day I'd continue to cry but the next day came and I felt so much lighter. I made progress by going through the pain. 

The joys in life have helped me grow too. They teach me things through smiles. Every time I open my mind to listening to what the joys of this world have for me I become insightful and thankful.

It's always been easier for me to point out how I have grown through hardships but I also know that times where I have felt lighter have shaped me too. In the last few weeks, it's been going to the river to swim that's helped me grow. The water, being around nature, people who care, and the feeling of cool water on my skin has made me feel whole. While I swim in rivers I become aware of the fact that being excited about life can come from the simplest of things. That's something I've always known but to be reminded of the joys in life and know that what makes me smile and laugh has helped me flourish as a person makes me thankful.

As I await the arrival of the little one growing inside of me I am reminded that the process is part of my journey towards growth as an individual. The people who have supported me throughout the highs and lows will always have a place in my heart. Each one of them has grown with me as they've shown me kindness and strength in their own ways.

This new chapter of my life will be a lot but it's one that I do believe will inspire me to become a version of myself that I do admire.

Grown out bangs and all. 

Tuesday, August 11, 2020

little things 68 -82

68. authenticity > happiness
69. dreams
70. baby kicks
71. knitting & podcasts
72. talking about everything with Lauren
73. coffee in a teapot
74. random phone calls from Keegan
75. feelings of optimism
76. wedding photos
78. oatmeal pancakes
79. cumbias y merengues 
80. reuniting a lost dog with his family
81. the sound of a fan
82. baking successes
© Simply Me
Maira Gall