Wednesday, September 9, 2020

growth in my life

It's late enough I've considered giving myself bangs. The bangs I had in December have taken their time growing out. They just barely can be tucked behind my ear now. 

Growing takes time. I wear a blue single strand of thread on my left wrist. I tied it to myself while I was thinking about growth. Sometimes when I am making a hard decision or I fail to understand why I am going through something I find myself staring at the bracelet. 

So often, I am caught up in the process that I forget that the silver lining will show itself. Yesterday, for example, I had the kind of day that moves slowly, feels heavy and is repetitive in thought. I was consumed by every negative feeling I had and couldn't break the pattern. I thought it wasn't going to get better and that the next day I'd continue to cry but the next day came and I felt so much lighter. I made progress by going through the pain. 

The joys in life have helped me grow too. They teach me things through smiles. Every time I open my mind to listening to what the joys of this world have for me I become insightful and thankful.


It's always been easier for me to point out how I have grown through hardships but I also know that times where I have felt lighter have shaped me too. In the last few weeks, it's been going to the river to swim that's helped me grow. The water, being around nature, people who care, and the feeling of cool water on my skin has made me feel whole. While I swim in rivers I become aware of the fact that being excited about life can come from the simplest of things. That's something I've always known but to be reminded of the joys in life and know that what makes me smile and laugh has helped me flourish as a person makes me thankful.

As I await the arrival of the little one growing inside of me I am reminded that the process is part of my journey towards growth as an individual. The people who have supported me throughout the highs and lows will always have a place in my heart. Each one of them has grown with me as they've shown me kindness and strength in their own ways.

This new chapter of my life will be a lot but it's one that I do believe will inspire me to become a version of myself that I do admire.

Grown out bangs and all. 
 

8 comments

  1. This post was amazing and i absolutely adore your writing style! Not a lot of people talk about growth and i'm glad that you are :)

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  2. beautiful words. Growth and change are indeed scary, but in the end they bring good things.

    thank you for the reminder.
    xxx.
    k.

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    1. It can be but there is a silver lining to it all you're right.

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  3. Personal growth is hard, but worth it. I'm glad you seem to be embracing it all.
    Rocking the bangs too. :D
    <3

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    1. The bangs are slowly growing out- thank god. Thanks for reading.

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  4. VANESSA! Ahh I hope you remember me haha (I used to do Day-Dreamer Night-Thinker back in the day). GIRL! You're married? And have a baby on the way? I'm sooo proud of you! It's so amazing to see you flourishing! Truly makes my day <3 So glad I popped onto your website to see what's up with you. You're stunning, keep doing you. I'd love to reconnect-- I've been working on a new website about some research and creative writing I've been doing (currently in school for literature and creative writing) and it made me want to come see if any of my old blogging buddies are still around. Love you !!

    Love,
    Vivian xoxo

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    1. VIVIAN! You are the sweetest! This message made me smile. Wish I would have seen in sooner though- I'll email you! Miss you. Sounds like you are doing exactly what you are meant to do. <3

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Maira Gall