life updates with v

I RENEWED MY BLOG URL
Ever since I was a teen with a blog I dreamed of being an old lady with a blog. There are many posts I wrote when I was a teen that mentioned how much I hoped to still be blogging as an adult. So, here I am renewing my blog URL in hopes of fulfilling my younger self's dreams.

Though it has been hard to sit down and write a post, know I think about my blog all the time. I'm still mentally not ready to let go of this little space I once had so much hope for.

It's kind of a bizarre thing to have a space on the internet that has no financial gain to it as I grow older since it seems like everyone is making a profit online but it doesn't feel right to attach money to what's been done out of love through the years.

Blogging makes me happy. It started off that way and it should end that way too.

I need a gentle reminder that this is my space and that it always will be. Because I've created it, I've grown with it. Though, the embarrassing posts of 2013 are long gone and saved in a binder the girl who started this journey is still with me. I have her to thank for persuading me once again to hang onto this space.

"What motivated me the most to write is the fact that I want to be able to look back on what I have done and experienced in my teenage life." -Vanessa, 2015

I'M MARRIED
Keegan and I got married!

I barely can believe that I said I do two weeks ago. We got married on July 19, 2020. It was such a heartwarming and wholesome day. The wedding was planned in a few days and it couldn't have turned out any better. Other than the heat, there isn't anything I'd change about that day. It was simple and spoke to the whole concept of not needing a lot but the people who share a love for one another. My anxieties were minimal that day too. I felt welcomed, at home, and myself that day.

I'm married to someone who I know will be there for me just like I will be for him. When I first met him, I knew he was someone I wanted in my life for a while. There wasn't any doubt in my mind that he was the one I wanted to marry when the conversation started coming up. I love him a lot!

THERE'S BABY ON THE WAY
There's a baby on the way! Keegan and I are going to be parents come November. The transition hasn't been easy but I've been met with love and acceptance that is once I gathered the courage to tell others. I didn't think I'd be having a child this soon but I am looking forward to all the growth that is about to take place in Keegan and I's life. He said that a baby will only bring more love into our lives and although the baby isn't here yet it has been doing exactly that.

Teenage me definitely didn't imagine this because none of my older posts mention anything about a baby but she'd probably think this is worth celebrating as it's a step towards real adulthood and independence.


EMOTIONS, EMOTIONS, EMOTIONS
A lot of things are changing in my life which means, for people like me, emotions are heavy. There are ones that make me want to hold onto the day for as long as I can and there are ones that make me want to hit skip. Because of all the pregnancy hormones, I am sensitive and fragile to everything. It hasn't been easy being okay one minute and in full on tears the next. Adjusting to new levels of emotions seems impossible so I've been working on accepting whatever state I find myself in. I am endlessly thankful for the support system I have. The people around me have made this a more comfortable process.

QUARANTINE STILL HASN'T ENDED
I think I can speak for most of us when I say that I am tired of being quarantined. In April I wrote a post about how it felt like quarantine was coming to an end and we'd all go back to living like we did before but it turns out we're kind of still in the same place as we started. Though people are getting out of their houses now, businesses are open, and masks are always advised it still feels like there is a long way to go before we can hug someone out in public or go to concerts. I'm hoping for the best.