I'm not sure who taught me to find joy in the littlest of things but if I had to guess who I'd guess my mother, who always taught me to be thankful for what I have, and the blogging community, who wrote about the simplest of things with so much enthusiasm it made me want to do the same. I am grateful that even when my heart hurts I can find at least one thing that gives me a feeling of happiness.
I try to remember moments that make me feel a certain way. This feeling is hard to describe for it isn't happiness alone- it's a mix of emotions that lights a passion fire in me and makes me forget all the things I might be worried about.
Doing normal things has been hard. They take more time to do when I can manage to find the littlest ounce of motivation to something in the first place. However, when I do manage to do something I find that I am lighter because I tried or the outcome was great.
For example, I had wanted to cook something but nothing on Pinterest, yes I use this for half of my recipes, stood out. So I ended up making a chai tea with whatever spices I had and testing different kinds of milk. My hopes for this tea weren't high but when I tried the tea with milk that made the flavor of the chai stand out I internally danced with joy. The tea made me feel warm without being pushy. It wasn't' too sweet but just enough so that I was sent on an imagery journey to find the rest of the sugar in my soul.
I found something that inspired me and guided me to write a post that was never going to be written if it weren't for that feeling that the Chai tea gave me.
written at 2am