Wednesday, April 1, 2020

a letter to my younger self




The scary thought is that I’m 18 in a few years I might be married. I would have a husband, a job, a house to call my own, my life would be more independent, and other grown-up things. I think of myself reading this in a few years. I wonder whether I will be able to say yes to any of the things I think up of now. A house? Good job? Happy life? Strong faith? A husband? Pets? Gives me the chills to think that 25-year-old me might be reading this, correction, will be reading this. Maybe them you, as in future me, can help me explain the whole man I love thing. - 18 years old

Dear 18-year-old Vanessa,

I am now 22 and I can answer a few of the questions about what life will be like when you're older. First, you are a little more independent and you had to be stubborn as fuck to get that little ounce more of independence. You don't have a house yet but you did have one of the best jobs. You taught children how to dance. Life is happy most the time, as you've figured out already, there are good and bad times. Right now we are living through an unexpected event in history. I have yet to come to terms with how monumental what the world is going through is but I think it'll be something we look back on. There is a virus that is making so many people sick that the government has us at home in lockdown and social isolation. Don't be scared because I haven't freaked out yet. Anyway, your faith changes. I now believe that there is a higher power but it might not be God. Just something up in the clouds. As for a husband, that's a no. However, you are dating someone incredible. I can't tell you his name because if I did, that would be no fun but I will tell you a little bit about him. He treats you like he loves you. He is gentle and can uplift your spirit in a few seconds. His family is wonderful too. You love him and it's crazy how you had fallen so quickly for him- though I still don't know how to explain the whole man I love thing. I love him but it's unexplainable. 
I have no pets by the way.

18 comments

  1. Wait I thiiiiiiiiiink I remember the original blogpost?! WOW

    Anyway this is adorable and so sweet <3

    Hanne || losingthebusyness.wordpress.com

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    1. I can't believe that! It was so many years ago, friend. Thank you!

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  2. I know I'm late. Sorree! But I simply had to pop in and say, I just found your blog and shit are you ever relatable! Also I'm 17 rn and planning to move out in a week, two days after I turn 18 so this post kinda hits home. But in a way I almost identify more with 22 year old you. Idk what that means... :)

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    1. Means you seem to be a little more mature as a 17 year old. I wish you the best with moving out. That can be a big change but take it one day at a time. Don't get too carried away with the new amount of freedom and independence you will have though!

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    2. Haha. Thanks. I'm moving to an upstairs apartment in a friend's house so I won't be alone but thanks for the advice all the same!

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    3. I am glad you'll have someone! Different from living with family though!

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  3. Replies
    1. Also LOL for before-18 stage thinking WHAT IF I GET MARRIED THO??? of after-18 stage me. I've been there and there is absolutely no husband in sight at Twenty XD

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    2. I am so happy you have liked it! I didn't love the idea of it until it grew on me through the positive comments. Hah, love will come :)

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Maira Gall