brilliance is in me but I'm sad

Tuesday, February 26, 2019


"I am here tell you that you can do this and that I believe in you because I KNOW you can do it. I see the potential you have. I wouldn't be here if I didn't think you'd be great."

And he left after I had thanked him.

I went back to the front desk with the tear-stained cheeks he saw but didn't acknowledge. The tears fell as I tried to hold myself all alone. I was shaking, I couldn't handle it. I wanted so much better for myself but this is what I got.

So I left the tears to leak out of my eyes. I didn't care who saw the sadness in my eyes becuase crying was a step towards getting better. I was relieved to finally be letting go of all the bottled up emotions that were in me.

I felt so many things at that moment. More than sadness and disappointment in myself. I was hopeful and hurt, peaceful but enraged, and moved but still. I felt it all.

"You need to have a friend you can text or call at any time when you need something. Those are the friends that got me thorugh college. You are brilliant and you can get through this"

I thanked the blue eyes who told me that.

I thanked myself for being able to embrace emotions that scare me.

I'll be okay.

18 comments

  1. Amazing, Vanessa. Thank you for writing + sharing this <3

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  2. I am proud of you, for embracing the emotions that scare you. For crying and letting it out, acknowledging your feelings, and then eventually, moving forward. Thank you for sharing. :")

    http://helloannajo.blogspot.com

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    1. Thank you dear! Means a lot. Crying is okay! Love your soul!

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  3. I love how you share your emotions and don't hide, V!. Have a good week!

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    1. You're the best. Thank you! I will try! We have snow today so that's good!

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  4. This is pure beautofulness! I am here if you ever need a friend. Love you, beautiful!

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  5. Thanks for sharing this. Embracing your emotions is amazing. <3

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  6. This was beautiful Vanessa. I know you will always be ok because you are just generally so amazing. :)

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  7. This was brilliant, Vanessa. Thank you for writing about this <3
    Not too long ago, a friend and I decided to pursue a creative project together, but it led to a talk about things personal. It was a little scary for me.. but my friend assured me that it would be all right. That I deserved the world.
    Your post reminded me of this, and so I also want to pass what my friend said to you. Here for you!
    ~ Vaishnavi

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    1. I can understand that. I am here for you too when you are in times of despair.

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  8. Everything you write is so honest and lovely. thanks for sharing what’s on your heart, it’s really inspiring :) <3

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  9. whatever it is you're going through right now i know you'll surpass it! just keep your head up.

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Every one of your comments makes me smile. Thank you for your support and love! It's truly appreciated, my friend!

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