BODY ISSUES

Sunday, October 7, 2018


I am feeling discouraged. I look into the mirror trying to see the beauty rather than the things that make me frown. I remind myself that my body is only what carries me and that my personality is what people love when I pass by a mirror. I remind myself that I am enough and that I a child of God and God doesn't take into account how we look. That these blemishes on my face aren't permanent. That I am smart, I am beautiful and I am enough. I am.

And although my appearance has me flustered that isn't the obstacle.

What has me down isn't so much about the way my body looks but rather the way I feel. I feel heavy, sluggish, slow, and bloated. I've felt like that more than ever in the past few weeks and I am not helping myself by eating foods that are raising my blood pressure, spiking my sugar levels, and leaving my face with acne. Those foods are not only affecting me physically but mentally too.

The mind works better when you feed it wholesome foods but every time I eat one oreo I say whatever and indulge in five more. My brain is foggy, slow, and doesn't have a long attention span. I am fixated in shaming myself for the bad foods I've eaten and punish myself more by eating an extra amount.

Exercise is something I don't do often. I am ashamed to do it because every time I do I am reminded that I am not as strong as I was in Spring. That my health has diminished. My left wrist has trouble bearing weight and my left hip is sore. I feel unable.

What does it matter what the number says on the scale if I don't feel healthy? What does it matter if I can do 43 push-ups without stopping if the only thing I can think about is my wrist hurts. What's it matter if I eat one good meal only to think about the unhealthy one I shouldn't have eaten. My mindset isn't where it use to be.

I feel like shit. I want to feel better more than anything. I want to feel healthy again because I miss that feeling. I want to feel cleansed because this feeling I can't take anymore. I want to be able to nod when people say you're so healthy than rolling my eyes because they don't really know my truth.

And forget starting the next day. "Tomorrow I am going to drink more water, eat better foods, and exercise," that is what someone who isn't serious is going to say. I am going to start right now. When the realization came into mind that I am going to change. My mind is no longer in a stage of pre-contemplation or contemplation. I am ready to take action. And I am going to do that now.

I am going to exercise today because it makes me feel strong and I am going to chop some carrots up today for a movie time snack so that I won't be eating the ice cream I indulge my feelings with at night. I am going to start fixating on the good things I did for my body rather than the bad.

The outcome is feeling healthy, being happier about my lifestyle, feeling less sluggish, looking brighter, and feeling like I can tackle anything. It'll work out with a little effort. It will and I will feel better.
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This piece has sat in my drafts for a while now but I think it's something that will help others to read so I am posting it as inspiration, encouragement, as something one might be able to relate to. As support. As a reminder that we don't have to be perfect. We just have to try. 

On a completely different note! There is a post on my health and fitness blog about oatmeal. If you haven't taken a look at that blog I encourage it!! Maybe subscribe via email and make my day! Blueberry muffins to all of you that subscribe via email! *gives muffins out*

18 comments

  1. don't get too discouraged ! Keep fighting! As far as i am concerned, physical pain from too much exercise is a good sign that yells IMPROVING!!!! What is better than your body yelling IMPROVING!!!!!?? Keep going girl

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    1. Thank you for your motivational words however the pain I feel isn't good pain. There's sore pain and pain pain. I've got a wrist problem that needs rest :P and a hip problem. I will keep going in safe manner!

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  2. *round of applause* Great post! And you can do this! I’ve never been into health or exercise much (😬) but this post has inspired me!

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    1. Aw thank you!! I am glad to hear it has been inspiring reading my sob story :P

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  3. This post was very inspirational!

    I've been trying to eat more healthy foods lately, and this post was a good reminder.

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    1. You are too sweet! I am glad you are taking care of yourself!

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  4. Amazing post! Thank you for the inspiration, I haven't been in the best headspace when it comes to my body either at the moment. <3

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    1. Thank you for reading! Lets grow together!

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  5. WOW i've NEVER been able to relate to a post more. i've been struggling a lot in similar ways lately so this was super inspiring.
    keep it up. you're amazing <3

    sophy of sophyslighthouse.blogspot.com

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    1. I am more than happy to hear this post is something you can relate to and learn from. I've reached my goal! Thank you! lovely! <3

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  6. I've been struggling with finding a healthy balance with food and exercise.
    Thanks for sharing this! <3

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    1. We can get through it! (: Thank you for reading! You always offer the best kind of support within your comments!

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  7. Yes, God made you perfect just the way you are!! He also made us to take care of our bodies, and that's probably why exercise & being active make us better, in mind & body. I think even if we're doing the minimum, it's still going to make the biggest difference in how we feel, and I wish you the best as you strive for a healthier body & self-esteem. You're honestly beautiful & you can only get better xxx

    twinklexthoughts.blogspot.com

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    1. I am so happy you decided to share these words with me. They mean a lot to hear! Thank you kindly! <3

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  8. Lovely and very inspirational post!! Vanessa - you're beautiful! Why? Because God made you perfect and He loves you, you're His child <3 Never say "I'm not pretty" because all of us are pretty in their own way. I really like eating healthy food but I'm not really into exercising. I would love to change it! Eating healthy meals make us feel better, doesn't it? Loved reading this post, my dear! <3

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    1. Thank you so much for sharing your encouragement with me. <3 Glad you like to eat healthy! Healthy people are happy people (;

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  9. I've been feeling really, well it's hard to explain but I've spent a lot of time lately thinking about my own body and my feelings toward it. I've come to the conclusion that no matter what I look like, I like to eat wholesome foods regularly and to exercise and move my body regularly because it makes my mind feel good.

    Julia // The Sunday Mode

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    1. I understand that! It's hard not to think of your body and feelings towards it when media can push you that way. Sounds like you are taking care of yourself! I am glad! And thank you for commenting! <3

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