Sunday, September 24, 2017

Feelings about College Year Two

The past three weeks I have spent a lot of time on my own and by myself. I've been isolating myself from the world and not allowing myself to grow by being in uncomfortable situations. I've always been a person who doesn't mind being by themselves. The problem with being so invested in your own bubble is that you get so comfortable that you forget how to go about life when you aren't in your bubble. 

I'm freaking out about doing little things ONCE AGAIN.

I have a lot of nervous jitters about starting my second year of college tomorrow. I feel silly admitting that but it's true! I feel like a first grader who isn't ready to let go of mommy's hand and walk into a classroom full of new people they don't know. This is something I wouldn't admit outside of this blog.

Thankfully, unlike last year I didn't make any last minute changes to my schedule or register late. (I learned from those mistakes) Fall term as of right now is seen as a term to get back into the swing of life. It's a time to learn how to be social again and redevelop good study habits. I just have to get past the awkwardness of the first couple of weeks and get over this feeling of anxiety I am having. 

As I read last years post on starting college I can't help but notice how dull I feel about starting college this year. It's not that I'm not excited it's just that worries and nervousness are taking over my thoughts. My mental game is at a whole different level and I just feel off. 

It's been a while since I have written on my blog about how I am feeling. It feels good to check in with myself and see where I am standing. I use to do a lot more of this kind of reflecting on my blog. This is good.

I do doubt with all the thoughts going in my mind that I will get a good amount of sleep but I am okay with that. I'll just deal with the drowsiness with a little bit of coffee. I've got my bag set for my classes tomorrow and my outfit picked out to help make tomorrow morning go smoothly.

Going to be the awkward for a while! Peace out.

32 comments:

  1. I would probably be having an anxiety attack. You got this!

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  2. best of luck with your second year. you're going to do great

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  3. I know this feeling. It's like a deluge of insecurities that were meant to be past tense. But it reminds me of a promise that got me through:

    Don't be afraid, because I'm with you; don't be anxious, because I am your God. I keep on strengthening you; I'm truly helping you. I'm surely upholding you with my victorious right hand. Isaiah 41:10

    It's going to be okay - you conquered the first year of college, and with God everything's possible. I hope your first day went well, and thanks for being open and vulnerable about your feelings. You're an inspiration! xx

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    1. "a deluge of insecurities that were meant to be past tense" wow wow wow I LOVE this.

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    2. Jessica you just always have the best advice! Thank you for being there for me.

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  4. Best of luck tomorrow, V! I remember that feeling ... just keep your chin up and drink that coffee! The jitters will fade ... but don't feel bad for having them in the first place! Give yourself permission to feel how you feel (no matter how awkward or nervous) and eventually everything will swing back into place. :) <3 Can't wait to hear how it goes!

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    1. Thank you! Fake it till you make it, right. Hoping to fall back into place sooner than later!

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  5. Hey Vanessa!
    I'm back blogging again! :)
    great to hear that your in your year 2. don't worry so much! it will come by nicely.
    just be yourself and all will fall out fine. every first day is a butterfly feeling for everyone! hahaha trust me, first day of work is wayyyyyyyyyy worst butterfly in your gut feeling than school. :)

    smiles from,
    geraldine @ everything magical
    https://wanyyg.blogspot.com

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    1. Yay! So glad that you are blogging again. I will take a look at your blog soon!

      Butterflies are sometimes the worst. I'm just glad that this week wasn't as bad as I thought it would have been.

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    1. Good to know I don't stand alone. (: Hope you are doing well! <3

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  7. I hope that this year goes wonderfully for you!

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  8. Holy wow, holy me!

    I hope everything went well today! I've been feeling the same "lostness" inside too. Feel free to message me if you want to talk :)

    Sarah || sarahbertke.com

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    1. It was a pretty okay week! A little uncomfortable but I bet it will only get better.

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  9. You got this, V! Hope it all goes well.

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  10. Wishing you luck on your start of school! I know you can do it <3

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  11. Aw you're doing amazing! I feel very similar, the thought of starting again can be awful but just take every part of it moment by moment, embrace the anxiety and let it all in, let it all affect you <3 good luck, you will be more than fine! Love your blog, following on GFC :D xx

    elizabeth ♡ ”Ice Cream” whispers Clara
    (I would love to follow each other on bloglovin if you like! :D)

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    1. Thank you for this comment. It's always so nice knowing that people are there for one another.

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  12. Oh I can relate to the bubble situation so much. Something I've learned is that the longer we avoid facing the world, the harder it gets. BUT it's never too late to break free. And I know that you're strong enough to do so. Sending you all my love, I hope you're doing okay & the college year isn't going too bad so far x

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    1. That is true. We just have to keep going and overcoming fears until we make it. Thank you for the love!

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  13. I can totally relate to what you're going through and, honestly, just dealing with the world seems hard sometimes, but we all have to do it. If you feel overwhelmed, maybe you should talk to someone - a friend, a teacher, your parents or maybe a professional.. just someone who has gone through it and that maybe can help you understand these feelings! Wishing you all the best and I'm really glad you shared this post with us!

    www.letmecrossover,blogspot.com

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  14. I think that's true for most people. I know I still feel nervous and shy when I'm thrown into a new situation or group of people. I like to have a "security blanket" in the form of a friendly face or friend with me. Wishing you the best as your college days continue and that you have a fun semester!
    XO - Beth
    www.behindmyheels.blogspot.com

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    1. A friend can always be helpful in new situations! You are right. College days are getting better thank you!

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  15. I can realte with not being as excited. I have my second year now in highschool/college (it's a bit diffrent where I'm from it's like a mix between the two) and I'm not nearly as excited and actyally just feel a bit down about it and want it to be finished. However I hope I'm just going through a low and I'll get more excited later. Thanks for sharing!

    Stella xx
    https://onegirlblogger.blogspot.com/

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    1. It's that feeling of I have been here to long and nothing feels new. I hope you will get more excited and find new motivation now. Thank you for sharing to.

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