Monday, June 19, 2017


Starting off with low points of year 19 and transitioning into the highs of the year, month, week, day, hour minute, and second.

This year my lowest point wasn't as low as it could have been compared to other situations. What got me down while I was being 19 was hitting a phase where I disconnected with my father by being too honest and having that trigger a few months of consent anxiety and social isolation. This is what I need to get councilung for this summer. As soon as possible because I can not afford to continue to live life like this.

Life gets better from here. A lot better actually. The next unfortunate thing that happened this year was boys. I learned the hard way that relationships with boys is not something I want in my life right or a few months ago.

This lead to the all time realization of this year. I love myself. I can proudly & confidently say that I am in love with myself. I fund out in November that looking for a relationship was not what I needed. I needed to grow with myself before anything and anyone else. And that's exactly what I did. For this I am proud. It's one of the most rewarding things I did while I am 19. Spend money on me, love myself, get to know what I want, and what I dont. This is a high. I will always have myself and that's more powerful than anything else and anything anyone can give me. High praise. If you are thinking about taking time for self love in the future or when you are reading this, Vanessa, I want you to take the time to do wat you did November- June of 2017. I love you regardless. I know future you is doing great things and trying. If you aren't I'll be disappointed in you but I doubt I will be because you are smart and beautiful.

Family time. 19 was a year where I spent time with family more than anything. Up until now I am realizing how great family is. I spent the last couple hours of time that I'm 19 with my family and that's how I want it to be in the future. This as made me a better person.

These few things are thins that I put an eye too as I'm reflecting in the last two minutes that I am 19. It's a ridiculously crazy thing.

One minute and I kid you not I'm smiling as my eyes are filling with more water and tears. I can't believe that the 19th is almost here.

1 comment:

  1. ohh gosh i have so much love for these little reflections nessa <3


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