Friday, April 14, 2017

In a Relationship With Myself

I'm not single! I'm in a relationship with myself. (smirking emoji) I feel like I have just hacked the system since not a lot of people have actually acknowledged this is a thing they can do. I am here to tell you it is something you can do. You can date yourself. Hah, I know that sounds a little strange but just hear me out. Having a healthy relationship with yourself is the most valuable thing you can do for yourself.

Society puts so much pressure on the idea of being in a relationship that when you aren't in a relationship, you feel sorry for yourself. It's a shame because a lot of us are too young to be in relationships, but we feel like we have to be in them! We shouldn't have to deal with that kind of pressure! There are so many movies and books that have to do with high school sweethearts that you can't help daydreaming about love and then looking for your own romantic story. For example, prom. The time of year where you are nudged to find a date to go to the dance with. There's nothing wrong with going with friends! But for many young adults, they feel like they have missed out on something if they go with friends! Society is brainwashed into thinking you will be happier if you are in a relationship. 

Towards the end of last year, the idea of ditching boys sounded great to me. My friend and I had a short conversation about how people seem to notice her when she is focusing on herself. We thought that was because she was less stressed when she was looking for someone to mingle with and enjoyed her time alone more. I simply just wanted to forget about a love life and start one with myself, so I googled being in a relationship with yourself. The articles that came up were all so encouraging and empowering that I wanted to be single without the "ready to mingle" sign attached at the end of that word. 

I'm not really single, I'm dating myself. I take me out to eat, I buy me clothes, I love me.

I have adapted to the idea of dating myself. The wording is a little weird, but it simply reminds me that I should treat myself like I'm in a relationship with myself. (and do that actively) I don't think about this concept all the time but I know that I am here for myself when I need someone. I will go on mini walks with myself, treat myself to spa days, and make myself fancy foods. I also I tell myself I am beautiful and give myself as many pep talks as I might need. I have become pretty darn good at giving myself pep talks to calm my nerves. 

Although this might seem like a lonely concept to many, I can tell you that it's not because I have me and that is really all I need. I can put all my effort into pleasing myself and learning what I like and don't like as well as figuring out what I want to do in life. Having a relationship with myself is kind of the best thing ever. I have so much time to do whatever I want! 

I've been single for a while now and I have to say. It's going really well.

Like... it's working out.

I think I'm the one.

I still have a whole year to figure the whole dating/ in a relationship with yourself thing out, but so far it's going great. In the four months I have been doing this the one thing I have learned is how much I enjoy my own company and just doing things on my own. It's been really fabulous spending time with simply me, myself, and I! (Whoop! Blog title reference!) I am actively committed to treating myself the way I deserve to be treated. 

According to society, I am single but according to my books I am in a relationship and I am taken by myself. I might be a little crazy for thinking like this but I feel like this metal state is helping me a lot. 

I'd love to know if you want to hear more about this concept or just know what you think! Let me know in the comments!

22 comments:

  1. I LOVE THIS!! I'm going to prom with my friends and it feels like I can relax so much more than if I had date. There is ENTIRELY too much pressure to be in a relationship and it's great you're spreading more self love! ♡

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    1. Yes, and don't feel like you are missing out if you don't go with someone. (Post a prom post!) Thanks for stopping by!

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  2. This sounds so shallow but you're so right! What I mean is, if you go around saying how much you love you then that sounds very shallow but if you explain it in the way you did it makes sense. God doesn't want us to only be satisfied when we're in a relationship with a boy, he wants us happy even if it's just us. He thinks we're amazing and worth loving and it's OK to go through life "alone" because in every sense, we're not alone.

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    1. I mean I really do love myself. Haha shallow isn't an awful thing in this case. That is exactly how he wants it and of course he is always with us so alone is never alone.

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  3. I think the society makes being in a relationship look like a must thing. I don't understand it. It's perfectly okay to be single. The goal of life isn't to get a partner. I strongly encourage you to keep this mindset and be in love with yourself. We need to remember that treating ourselves well is an important task too :) Loved reading this post. x

    -Leta | The Nerdy Me

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    1. It really does make it look like a must thing. Thank you for your encouragement!

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  4. Sp proud of you for figuring this whole thing out, girl!! I think this state of mind sounds super healthy and awesome. You go, V!! <3

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  5. Just found your blog and I think it's great. This post was really inspiring as well, could relate a lot. :)
    Btw. I nominated you to do the Lovely Blog Award so if you'd like to check it out here's a link to my post xx http://onegirlblogger.blogspot.com/2017/04/the-lovely-blog-award.html

    Stella xx

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  6. I think this is a really good idea. Not everyone is going to end up in a relationship at the end, and if you find God is enough early in life(and subsequently, you by 'yourself'), then it won't really matter what happens.

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    1. Well said! I love reading everyone's ideas on this so thank you for sharing.

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  7. THIS IS AMAZEBALLS AND I'M WITH YOU!!
    self-love and care is so often overlooked, and this is such a great reminder to be okay just spending time with me:)
    thanks for being awesome
    elissa // letters-to-jayna.blogspot.com

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    1. JOIN THE TEAM haha! Being comfy with yourself is powerful!

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  8. I love this post. Although I do have someone special in my life, I've always lived by the motto that you can't give what you can't have. If you don't love yourself, how can you love others, right?

    Lovely blog, by the way. Hope you don't mind checking mine out ♡

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    1. Wonderful motto. You couldn't have said it better. Love yourself before you love others is a great way to go.

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  9. This is a great post and very important today. We should not be looking for someone who 'completes' us. Fantastic write.

    Skylar | Skywriting

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  10. I love this :) I think more women should be OK with being single xx

    www.GemmaEtc.com 💕

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    1. I agree! I mean it's not a bad thing. haha if anything it can be more fun!

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  11. Golly gracious, Vanessa—you're brilliant. <3 This post was so good I don't even know what to say.
    Rock on, girlfriend!!

    Sophy
    lavender & blue

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    1. Thank you so much Sophia! That means a lot!

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