Friday, September 2, 2016

T E A R S


Sometimes all I want to do is cry.
I want to cry my eyes and heart and soul out.
Just to make it all better.

I sometimes want to be a sad mess.
I want to feel present and confused and lost all at once.
Just to make me numb.

At times I want tears to draw a streaky line down my cheek.
I want people to know how I feel and look at me differently and feel with me.
Just to make me feel like I'm not alone.

The sadness hits me like an ocean wave.
The madness stings like cold water.
The tears bloom from the inside of my eyes.
The wetness of the tears burn like a wildfire.
Then they dry like sticky sap on a tree.

raw, bare, and stripped
heavy, out of control, and shaken
weak, vulnerable, and fragile
frustrated, confused, and barely present

Various feelings mixed into one extraordinarily delicate emotion.

blue, purple, black, gray, white, it's like a bruise. 

red, purple, dark blue, then black

and then

it 

s l o w l y

fades 

a w a y

The ocean wave rolls out
The ocean wave hits hard
and then the ocean waves
creep back into itself
leaving traces of salt behind.

The tears form and fall
The emotions splatter on the table
The tears ache and then they dry,
leaving salt on top of the bruise the sadness left.

All this making me feel
alive, relieved, and most importantly human.

40 comments:

  1. So. Moving.
    <33 All the feels right now.

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    1. Same here, I practically cried writing this!

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  2. I absolutely love this poem, Vanessa! Your voice is incredible!

    Please post more like this!

    https://guiliannamarie.blogspot.com

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    1. This means a lot to hear, I will be posting more poems like this.

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  3. I am moved by this poem. I especially love the last line. Feeling pain is part of the human experience, and we cannot simply forget emotion and live life like automatons.

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    1. Pain is as human as human can get! I am joyed you enjoyed this as much as I did!

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  4. This is beautiful, Vanessa. I absolutely love it <3

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  5. asdfghjkl; THAT'S OKAY I DIDN'T NEED MY HEART ANYWAY. <3333

    "I want to feel present and confused and lost all at once.
    Just to make me numb."
    < CANNOT EVEN BEGIN TO TELL YOU HOW MUCH I CAN RELATE TO THIS OMG.

    gosh. <3 wow. beautiful.

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    Replies
    1. NOOO! YOU NEED YOUR SWEET HEART!

      The numb thing is so real. Thanks for reading Abbiee!

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  6. this is beautiful, and very emotional. thank you for sharing this :)

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  7. "I sometimes want to be a sad mess.
    I want to feel present and confused and lost all at once.
    Just to make me numb."
    >>>SOMEONE FINALLY PUT THIS INTO WORDS!!!! I RELATE SO HARD I CAN'T EVEN BEGIN TO EXPRESS. Wowwowowownsdjifasjdnzfqwenf

    my heart
    what did you do to it
    it's pierced

    This moved me.

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    Replies
    1. YAY!!! I AM EXCITED YOU HAVE THE WORDS FOR THIS NOW! <3

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  8. Beautiful writing. I hope this isn't about your life right now (and if it is--feel better!).

    ~Ella

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  9. This is so relatable and true....this is so beautiful!!! <3<3<3

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  10. This gave me all that chills and now I can't breathe I'm just going to lay on the cold floor struggling to process this BECAUSE THIS IS ALL THE FEELINGS PUT INTO WORDS.

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    1. Oh dear, haha I hope you can recover from that. You are to sweet!

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  11. How beautiful. You are a magnificent writer, I loved your tone, it could provoke emotion in anyone! Well done lovely!
    -Hugs from Hayley

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  12. Awwwwwhhhhhhhh I recognize this! I have felt this, too. Reading this put my feelings into words I have never considered before -- you're so cool :)

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    Replies
    1. I am so happy with all the feed back from this poem. Thank you Olivia!

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  13. Ahhhhhhh such a gorgeously vulnerable sentiment put into beautiful words. Much love for this.
    xx
    Stephanie
    strictlystephanie.blogspot.com

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  14. I love when you post things like this. Very wonderful, I love it. :)

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    1. I'm glad you do!! I'll try to more often.

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  15. You are a doll. You always throw a beautiful comment my way when I need it most. I love your blog too ♥

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    Replies
    1. Thank you! I love that you take the time to say thanks and hello!

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  16. This is so lovely! <3 Such a good description of pain, crying, and sadness! <3

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