Friday, July 15, 2016

Home? Yes, Indeed.

Up until I was about 12 I lived in a house that seemed pretty similar to a castle. This place was my home. As I grew up I grew more and more attached to this magical place. It was a huge house in the middle of a forest that had a creek. There were more than enough trees to climb and lots of good hiding spots. Leaving this place was one of the devastating things I have had to do. 

I hate where I live now.  I really, really, really, don't like where I live now. The managers describe the place I live in as a townhouse, but you can tell me that all you want, it's still an apartment to me. 

Here is a list of the things I dis-love about this place:
-The kitchen is small (which means there is no counter space) 
-The oven in the kitchen is too old to use
-Only two of the four burners work
-The toilet leaks
-There are no washers and dryers (The community laundry mat is so disgusting that this could almost be another bullet.)
-My neighbors smoke (They also seem quite shady) 
-The deck has an awful view
-I can't- NO. I am done.

Those are plenty of reasons that this place sucks. I have been holding on for two years now. This apartment sucks. I am ashamed to tell people this place. I mask the embarrassment with humor, poking jokes at a place like this. I only dream of the day I will live in a house similar to when I was a child. A home.

Here I am calling a dumpy old apartment my home. When I call this place my home I am not thinking of the way it was built or the list of things that annoy me... I am thinking about the things I love that are within the structure. 

Here is a list of the things I love that are in this house:
-My mom
-My sister
-Plenty of food 
-A safe place where I can let my guard down
-The bed I sleep in and the blankets that cover me
-The comfort this place brings me
-The fact that I am sheltered from the world behind the walls

These things make all the houses I have lived in a home. I share this with you because this is real. 

Much love,


  1. I'm kind of in the same situation here, but instead I don't like the place I live in. It's an awfully boring place.

    1. I have never been unhappy with where I live, but I hope you gain happiness with it.

  2. Vanessa, I know exactly how it is to miss a childhood home. But it's good to remember the benefits of having a 'home' even if we aren't entirely happy with the 'house'.
    Thank you for your honesty and your wonderful way with words. I love your blog.


    1. Your comment means so much to me Tane!

  3. I honestly sort of know where you are coming not from personal experience as I have stayed in the same house all my life and would call that home but I have seen a similar sort of person go from her own country to the England for 9 years call that place home and then to Canada to which we call a Townhouse (basically an apartment under the ground) and everything was awful in their from what I saw. But keep on going the hard times will move and the good times will soon role in.

    The Grand Regime

    1. That sounds like a hard experience to move around that much. I see this situation as only temporary stop in my life.

  4. It's nice to know that despite you have a house that you don't necessarily like, the aspects that makes a home are still there. :D

    xoxo Morning

    1. Couldn't have rephrased what you said better. Thanks for stopping by!

  5. I experienced this, when I moved away from home it sucked.


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